Crafting an Aura
It's a Journey - Thought Snack #85
2024 was a blur. Between Antarctic expeditions, moving to NY, getting a new job and relocating, there isn’t much room to remember much else. When I scroll through my camera roll, I’m in disbelief about all the fun things I did this year - building gardens, trash pickups, birdwatching, selling sugarcane juice, NY hiking day trips, skiing with friends. Apparently, I visited DC, Philly, and CA (a few times) during those first 8 months as well.
I remember these activities fondly upon recall, but it’s very interesting for me to see which memories get the honor of front-line real-estate in my head and which don’t. It’s a shame that just because I did so many fun things, I don’t get to have rapid recall of all of them.
Instead, I’m left with a remembrance of an aura. The Boston aura … trying to make the most of the situation. The NYC aura … tons of adventure and experimentation. Always up to something.
The Austin Aura
Since moving to Austin, my life has looked very different and my camera roll tells this story as well. Instead of travels with friends and serendipitous activities, I found 1) solo hobby renewal (painting, playing the violin, taking care of my plants, reading) and 2) trips back home to MI. There are also much fewer photos, nearly 60% fewer on a monthly basis.
When I think back over my time in Austin so far, I notice a few different phases - the swimming in the morning phase, the long bike commute phase, the post-car/new-house phase. Regular hangouts with Marina, Harry, and Dhruv have become my anchor. I cherish these phases. They all came with different pains and excitements.
Over the last few months, I’ve learned that work at a startup is consuming. There will always be more to do than there is time to do it. There will always be the opportunity “the other thing” for work. There will always be a pressure to deliver more, faster.
During one of my journaling sessions just before the new year, I was reminded of Vik’s last message to me before I left CareEvolution.
Remember we don't live to work. We work to live. I think it is important for you to develop boundaries for your own health and welfare. I say all this because ... yes 27th is fine to end here but for the principle of the thing, I would suggest you not start till the Monday after or 1st or whatever - i.e. you must maintain control over your life and not let the capitalist forces determine boundaries. They will suck you dry in the interest of growth targets and valuation and investor promises. Under capitalism your value is only as much as it helps the entity increase its "business" prospects.
His words hit me in a moment I needed to hear it. Snippet from my journal:
You’re going from an environment that supports life to an environment in which you must fight for your life. Passive existence doesn’t make the cut. Passive existence erases the soul.
So you have to begin making active decisions - to live your life, to play the game, to do the things that make you happy, to set the boundary, and take life into your own hands. You have the ability to endure. You have the ability to persevere. You must do it. Whether out of necessity, or on your own terms is the choice that we get to make.
There is so much power in agency. There is so much freedom in fearlessness. The way to live life is to choose. Rather than to let life choose for you.
It’s time to change the narrative. I don’t want to look back and find the Austin aura was one of indifference and monotony. In the present, I have the opportunity to craft an experience that keeps me engaged and excited. Who would have ever thought that I’d be the one that needs an extra push to try new things and go on adventures?
I’ve never had to “plan out my activities” before. I’ve always had space in my mind for new ideas and when I get one, I make things happen. The last few months have taught me that these wacky ideas only came to me because I was out engaging with the world, talking to people, seeing new things, and being part of a community.
Not enough of this has happened over the last few months and I’m ready for that to change. I thrive when I make room for my brain to fly.
It’s time for the Austin aura to take on a new shape. It’s time for me to find ways to create space for my brain to breathe, wonder, and explore. It’s time to get out of the office.
Grateful for you all. Much love <3.
Don’t forget to smile to day,
Thejas
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